August 2006

Monthly Archive

August 30, 2006

HERE’S TO THE WORLDS’ BEST FRIENDS

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[9] Comments 
Well I am here typing away on Pete’s computer in beautiful Schenectady (Skin-eck-ta-dee), New York, pondering my time spent in Orlando, Florida. I can remember the night, some three months ago in May, mulling around this hairbrain idea of having a so called Southeast Bloggers’ Gathering. I had been getting so many comments, emails, etc. from bloggers and commenters visiting my newly established blog. Some of them were beginning to feel like family. So in a passing conversation with Pete, I threw out the idea of this gathering and asked him if he’d meet up with me in Florida should the Florida bloggers be up for the call. And so I shared the idea with Spider, whom I’ had been emailing and just starting to speak with on the phone. Without any hesitation, Spider welcomed the thought and promised to convey the idea to those bloggers he was meeting in Orlando. The positive response snowballed from there.

And now, the long-awaited event has come and gone. This is my second blogger gathering in the past four months, the last being in San Francisco where I spent time with the likes of BrettCajun, Moby, Homer, Kel, Dan, Chad, and Brandon. This go-around I spent time with 6 totally different personalities, Spider, Hypoxic, Sorted, Derek, Cola Boy, and Pete. If I were asked to compare the two events, I couldn’t because they were two totally different experiences, each unique. When I went to the April SanFrancisco gathering, I was perhaps a bit more cautious and admittedly focused on getting to know one particular person. Those S.F. relationships have since grown proportionately as some of those individuals have become better acquainted with me through the blog I established after the Bay Area event. However, my Orlando experience was far more relaxed. I knew well in advance that the people I was to meet would be true to their image in every imaginable way. These six men, Spider, Hypoxic, Sorted, Derek, Cola Boy, and Pete, are in every essense of the word…FRIENDS! They are what I envision as my family of choice. While I know each of them has uniquely different views on issues, I know that they will always accept me for who I am and how I chose to live my life, even if it may fall a tad outside ‘perceived gay norms.’ For that element of welcoming and sense of comfort I am eternally grateful. To our Orlando hosts, Spider, Sorted, and Hypoxic, thank you from the bottom of my heart for an experience that will be cherished for the rest of my life. Thank you for the incredible time spent at Island of Adventure, for the evening at Savoy’s checking out all the hunky waiters/dancers…ugh!, for the airboat trip, for the tour of the city, for the KANSAS concert in downtown, for the numerous meals at all your local hangouts, and for that special ‘Ribs and Martini’ dinner at Sorted’s condo. You guys ROCK as hosts! Hell…Orlando ROCKS!

So where does that leave things? Pete and I arrived in his hometown yesterday, Tuesday. We were greeted with rain but I don’t ever let that stop things. Pete was most gracious in giving me the grand-overview tour of Albany and Schenectady. The arhictecture and neigborhood developments are so different from Orlando ~ old brownstones, older brick buildings with remarkable cornice detail. Again the desinger in me was taking over…I have already been planning the urban redevelopment and revitalization of Albany…hehehe! We finished my first day by hitting Cornell’s Italian Restaurant in the Little Italy quarters of Schenectady~ a fitting way to end the day. Tomorrow I am not sure what we are doing but those plans are in the hands of Pete, my New York host. I can’t wait!!








 

August 29, 2006

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? (#16)

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[11] Comments 
Another Tuesday, so it’s time for my HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? post for the week.
Stepping right into it, my question for you today is:

How do you like to be seated in the plane ~ aisle, window, or sandwiched in between the the other seats?

For me, give me a 1-2 hour flight and I want a window seat so I can enjoy the sights. Put me in a long-distance domestic flight or international flight…the airlines better have an aisle seat for me. Otherwise expect one irritable passenger. I need to stretch this 6 foot frame, namely the legs, into the aisle so I can be one happy camper.

So let me and the readers know what you like.

As for posting about my trip thus far, I am hoping to do that in the next day or so from Pete’s home in New York. Have just been running short on time. And it’s a bit tight when three people are trying to share the same computer. Hugs to all. Miss not reading all of you on a daily basis!

 

August 26, 2006

FRIENDS AT FRIEND’S

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[10] Comments 

Well…this is my first post since arriving in Orlando, Florida. I am having incredible fun. I arrived here Wednesday about fifteen minutes late but had a great flight. As I walked into the main airport terminal I was greeted by a tremendous smile from Spider. What a great feeling. A new friend! He truly has been the most gracious host, welcoming me, and now Pete (yes, he arrived yesterday in tact!) into his quaint little COTTAGE. I love it. I’ve had to restrain myself from providing oodles of design advise! No, no. It truly is Spider’s place and I love it. It’s just the designer in me always wanting to improve something.

Thursday it was off to the beach for some fun in NATURE. Needless to say that was taken away thanks to arriving at the State beach and finding out that the beach had been closed due to the upcoming Shuttle launch this Sunday. But we quickly came up with another plan of attack…Islands of Adventure for an afternoon of rollercoaster riding. GREAT CALL! I hadn’t ridden a rollercoaster in over fifteen years. And I love’em! This big man turned into one big kid. Spider had to tell me to slow down a couple of times. Hehehe! Spider and I finished out the day with a nice quiet dinner at Market City Cafe right on Lake Eola. And dessert? Let’s just say it was ‘yummy.’

Yesterday (Friday) Spider and I had lunch with Cola Boy of Mountain Cabin. CB is a riot. He had me laughing constantly. Let’s say I learned a little more about Spider. *EG* CB manages to keep this straight, serious face while ripping out the one-liners. I love him. After that, Spider and I had to make a quick run over to good ol’ BEST BUY Electronics. This bud here needed to pick up another digital camera as the one I borrowed went on the fritz. Hence the reason you have not seen any posted photos of the trip thus far. I promise that there will be some from this point forward.

The big event yesterday was the gathering at Friend’s, one of Orlando’s gay-owned restaurants catering to the local gay community. It was Prime Rib night. That was ticket for the night! In any event, I met Hypoxic face-to-face for the first time after talking to him several times on the phone prior to coming out here. A great person. He is a another keeper for a friend. And Hypoxic….”PANDAS!!!” LOL. Sorted was there too. Sorted is Mr. Social. He provided a large chunk of our entertainment and socializing last night by knowing half the of Orlando’s gay population. Let’s just say that I had an inside joke going with him last night with my imaginary tally board. I lost count after 69! Lordy, did I say 69. Sorted is another keeper. The group was rounded out with Spider and Pete (the ShortBus). They were keepers a long time ago.

The night finished at Savoy’s, one of the local gay bars. Lots of eye-candy! Hypoxic and Pete were quite content in their strategically-located, outdoor patio seats. They had a clear view of the hunky waiters and bartenders coming and going out of the bar’s break/dressing room. Let’s just say I saw a number of raised eyebrows and smirks going on between those two. Again I lost count.

And so that leaves today, Saturday. Yes Spider, this post is coming to a close! Patience bud, patience! Derek is joining up with us at around 11am today. Then it’s off to go airboating, possibly catch a free local concert headlining Kansas, and then dinner and whatever later tonight. Hugs! More to come….
 

August 23, 2006

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? (#15) MIXED WITH A TWIST

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[12] Comments 
So much has transpired this week and it seems there is a need to start moving back toward some normalcy. Marc, you are not forgotten, and I know you’d want things running status quo. With that, I am stepping back into my HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? cycle, one day late. However, I am going to twist things up a bit this week.

What I want to ask you this week is:
In one sentence, long or short, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE REMEMBERED? What I am asking in essence is what would you like to appear on your epitaph. Let it be about you…serious, comical, enlightening, whatever. If you have more than one sentence to put forth what you need to say, then by all means don’t let me stop you. Post it.

My first thought in my head for an epitaph was a tad X-rated and comical but probably not representative of me… “SIMPLY FLIRTATIOUS, FUN, AND ONE BIG ******!” (Clean that mind up guys!) But nah! I think I would want it to say…”HE’S SIMPLY BEGINNING ANOTHER JOURNEY OF FRIENDSHIP.“

***On a side note, at 9:24am PST I begin my flight trek out to Orlando. I am so excited. I am not sure if I will be posting at all. I am going to try to see if my dear Spider will let me borrow some time on his computer while I am in Orlando. With some luck I’ll be able to post some pics directly off my camera, depends. I am hoping to do the same at Pete’s house in northern New York state before the two of us head down to New York City. Otherwise I am gone until Tuesday, September 5. Hugs y’all!

 

August 22, 2006

MY SPIRIT SOARED (For Marc And Josh)

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[8] Comments 
I was truly amazed yesterday at all the wonderful tributes left in blogland for Marc of Voyeur Nation. I believe he would have been overwhelmed by all the blog readers who shared how he had touched their lives. I know that each of us will keep a part of Marc alive in us whether it be through participation in Gay Men Rule, through what we chose to write about and how we write it in our blogs, through those we ultimately reach out to willingly and unselfishly.

So today, I have chosen to postpone my typical Tuesday HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? post until Wednesday. Death often stirs so many emotions and for some, a need to let go of fears and sadness. In the place of my usual Tuesday post, I have a poem in honor of Marc and a loving brother, Josh, who stood by his side those last hours. Hugs!

MY SPIRIT SOARED

My spirit soared high today
In this all too familiar, but oh, so unfamiliar world.
Reminiscing of all that has passed,
Yearning for a day far more beautiful.

As it soared, my spirit’s senses were lost,
Lost in earth’s pleasurable abundances.
Abundances bestowed by a Heavenly Father,
A Father far greater than one can comprehend.

My spirit felt nature’s cool breezes
Like loving caresses a mother bestows upon her baby.
It basked in the piercing rays of the sun,
As if they were the smiles of every human beaming the day’s joy.

My spirit felt the midday’s gentle rains,
Its streams like soft tears cast to the ground.
The soul relished the ever-sweet scent of earth’s gardens
Like the overwhelming feeling one has when arriving home.

But my spirit grew weary,
Like a child stumbling to the ground.
It somehow knew this pain was temporary
Much like the darkness of night casts on daylight.

Now my spirit flounders aimlessly in space
Much like a newborn puppy clings to its mother’s breast.
Until another day beckons
Like an explosion far greater than before.

As my spirit soars this time,
It recognizes this day is different than any other.
For the day’s beauty is far more brilliant.
Its aura far more suggestive of a place called home.

And then my spirit languishes in this place of peace and serenity,
As if an eagle nesting high above the forests’ tree tops.
My spirit has no other desire
For it is HOME in Heaven’s garden.

Author: Tony
 

August 21, 2006

A MOMENT OF SILENCE FOR A FRIEND

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[7] Comments 
……..CONSCIOUS - SMILING - BRAVE

The words used to describe Marc’s last moments here on earth before departing for HOME. My choice today is to honor Marc with silence. Miss you already!

The Gay Dude ~ Voyeur Nation
Headed HOME: 8/20/06, 2:45 pm
XXXOOOOXXXOOO
 

August 20, 2006

THE BLOGGING DOLDRUMS

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[6] Comments 
I find myself at a loss on what to write about today. I have reason to be excited. I am off to Orlando in three days to spend time with some incredible guys. I have the next two weeks to take in sights I have never seen in other parts of the U.S.

But I think I know why the doldrums have surfaced again. I was much more upbeat today after writing my post about Marc at Voyeur Nation. I got my workout in and lounged by the pool. I had my phone chats with Pete and Spider. All was fine. Then I came home, pulled up my blogs that I like to read, and proceeded to read them one by one. I got to Gay Men Rule, read Josh’s post there, entitled THANKS (8/20/06), and my mood changed 180 degrees. How can I write knowing that someone is leaving us very soon? My mind has no room for other thoughts.

So about all I have to share is what I obtained for my grades last quarter. Those results were delivered by the good ol’ U.S. Postal Service Friday. I walked away with 2 “A’s” and 1 “B.” The A’s came in my Ecology class (remember I had told you in a post that I was confident I had aced the test!!) and in my Senior Portfolio class. I was most happy with the Senior Portfolio grade after the money I invested in getting the help of a graphic artist. My B came in my Senior Project class…a bit disappointing but not the end of the world. You all know how I am struggling with these last few classes anyway, desiring to get back out into the real working world again.

That’s about all I have to put out today. Thinking of you Marc and Josh!

 

August 19, 2006

PAIN FROM WITHIN ~ YOU’RE IN OUR THOUGHTS TONIGHT

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[7] Comments 
YESTERDAY seemed so full of promise, of joy. But last night I sat outside in the coolness of the night, staring at the stars. I was thinking about someone that I care for very much. The odd thing ~ I have never met this person, ‘in person.’ This individual is Marc from Voyeur Nation. I think most of my readers know Marc and what he is going through at the moment. He has touched so many lives.

Last night, as I sat staring at the evening sky, I thought ‘How could someone have stood up to so many odds for so many years, fighting.” I honestly do not think I could have gone on for so long, battling constantly. It takes a special spirit to fight onward, day after day. But it takes an equally special spirit to realize when life has given him/her more gifts than he or she could have ever imagined or expected and to finally be able to say, “I’m ready, if it is my time to go.”

As Marc and Josh have told us in various posts over the last few days, Marc’s condition is not good. When one is coming to grips with the imminence of death somewhere in the near future, it’s often hard to concede to it, to let people know how you truly are feeling. How do I know…I watched my dad die of cancer. I remember my mom, myself, a brother and sister in one gathering, trying desperately to get my dad to talk about how he was feeling. He was barely conversing with anyone once the doctors had told him his time was short, period. He had fought so hard to battle his two cancers, and now his spirit was broken. Mind you I am not saying Marc’s is broken. On the contrary…he’s a fighter and I want that fighter to surprise the world yet again. We all simply need to be cognizant of life’s inevitable conclusion.

I think the last thing running through my mind last night was that any pain I have experienced in my lifetime pales in comparison to Marc’s pain and suffering. And in part, as to what Josh must be experiencing, having lost one man in his life that he cherished and to know that another, so close to him, is on that same journey.

So the heavy heart reigned last night and still does today. I have always been a sensitive, compassionate person. And for once I feel happy to be that person. It tells me I am capable of feeling for others - for those close, for those far away, for those related by blood, for those who are a part of my circle of friends, and for those not known but traveling this journey, we call life, with me.

Marc…I’ve said this on your last blog post. Relish and enjoy your time with family and close friends. We, here in blogland, understand that necessity. Josh…Hug that brother of yours like you have never done before and let him know that you love him,that you are there for him.

Yes…last night we all had heavy hearts. You are all in our thoughts and prayers.

BIG BLOGLAND HUGS TO YOU BOTH!

 

August 18, 2006

JUST 5 MORE DAYS…

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[13] Comments 

…until I am on my way to Orlando, Florida, for the gathering of Southeast bloggers. Then it will be on to New York - Albany and New York City - with my bud, Pete (The Shortbus - tentatively disbanded). By the way, Pete is commenting on blogs occassionally as Heavycream1971, for those of you who read him.

I am so excited to meet everyone and to see yet one more state in the U.S. (haven’t seen Florida). That incredible superstud, Spider, has offered Pete and me accomodations at The Cottage and we graciously accepted. I am actually coming into Orlando two days early so I can spend some ‘extra’ time there. Sounds like we’ll be hitting the beach one day…someone tell me if the eye-candy will be in abundance, pul-leeze! Looks like the group gathering in Orlando will include Pete (The Shortbus), Hypoxic, Sorted, Derek and woofy partner Mike, Spider, possibly ColaBoy, and myself among possible others. If there are any last minute people that would like to join us, let myself or Spider know via email. We’ll miss people like Brad and Justin, Kel and his partner, Marc, Joshua, etc. ~ perhaps another time.

On August 29th, I’ll be leaving Orlando and moseying on up through Albany to see Pete’s hometown, just outside the Albany city limits. I’ll be there for a few days and then Pete and I are bogeying down to NY City. This will be my second time back to the Big Apple. If I have any readers from NYCity or nearby, Pete and I would love to meet up with you in the city, if you’re game. Just let us know. And if anybody has any recommendations on what to see or do, outside the major landmarks which I saw last time, let me know. That goes for any good eateries, restaurants, shows, bars/nightlife and other things to do.

BEAST, I’M COMING! GRRR!
 

August 17, 2006

20 THINGS

Posted by Tony under Uncategorized
[14] Comments 
I happen to be reading Josh’s meme post yesterday and thought, “I have never done something like this before.” So I have decided to partake in it. At some point I am thinking of putting a single question and answer post out there so my readers can ask a few questions about me. But for now this will have to do. Here goes! (I have kept a few things vague for a reason/my family so bear with me.)

1. I grew up in a city just south of San Francisco, by about 7-8 miles.
2. I have 2 Brothers and 4 sisters and I am extremely fortunate to still have close relationships with each one of them. Yes we do fight but the bond has never broken.
3. I live in southern California in Orange County (that bastion of Republicanism) while I am finishing up school. I am about a 50 minute drive from LA and 50 minutes from San Diego, when traffic is normal. LOL!!!
4. 2 of my sisters live within 3 miles of me, the ones with all the kids so I have lots of fun visits with the nieces and nephews.
5. The rest of my immediate family are in Northern California—the SF Bay and Sacramento areas.
6. I am the oldest in the family. The youngest is 11 years behind me. 6 of us have spans of about 16-18 months separating the next sibling in line.
7. Perhaps shocking to some people, I still am active in my faith (Catholic)…for me it gives me a sense of peace, but it presently is a struggle finding balance for reasons I am sure you all know.
8. I have never really been politically-minded…I vote my heart and on what key elements are important to me. I am sorry…it’s who I am and in what I believe.
9. I have voted Republican, Democratic, and Independent at times!
10. I finally came to grips with my gay self about 18 months ago though I am still on my journey to coming out to my family. I have a strong feeling they know but timing for me needs to be right. I’m close though. Part of that holding off is for me and part is because I care about my family. My true gay friends understand that!
11. I worked almost 18 years in the claims insurance field, 11 of those in claims management. Ask me anything about a personal injury claim’s value!!
12. At 43 I technically retired…I took an early retirement based on my combination of years of service within the company and my age. I needed to move on for purpose of life fulfillment and yes, general sanity.
13. I actually have a retirement pension but I am not collecting it…the longer its sits the more I will get per month when I do activate it. Trust me, it’s not THE POT OF GOLD!
14. I am in school, full time, not working, retooling myself to be an interior designer ~ just one quarter left and a side Internet Art History class to take. I will have Bachelors degree #2.
15. I am a perfectionist, which I try so hard to back off of. Guess old habits are a challenge to break.
16. I have never been with a woman (yes Josh, this is what we have in common…thank you for making me feel secure with myself on that one bud!)
17. I have never, ever touched a drug, not even pot, I drink only socially, and have smoked once in my life (a cigarette that is) - I was whiter than a ghost. Now, put me in a room of smoke and within 10-15 minutes, guaranteed, I will have an instant migraine.
18. I have had a few one night stands and oddly enough, all at this point are friends now.
19. My mother is still alive at 76 but my father, who I miss more than I ever, passed away at 71 in 2002, from two years of battling two types of cancer. Love you DAD!
20. I want a man who can love a man for the person he is in his entirety…not solely on looks. And I know… there has to be a connection and it may not be obvious what that connection is at first…sometimes it’s a ‘gut-instinct.’
**Bonus: The first guy I slept with (can’t reveal his name for privacy purposes) was a handsome 5′-10″ bodybuilder/masseuse, weighing in at 255, whose chest and arms were absolutely incredible and rock hard. He was also a dynamite kisser, which I love to do anyway. The following morning when I woke up to this hunk next to me I actually had severely chapped lips…they hurt. Of course I sucked it in to get some more of those juicy kisses in the morning before leaving his place. Does that suggest how long we may have been kissing the night before. Wahoo!
 

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