life’s colorful brushstrokes

Something Spo said last night in his blogpost triggered me to think about this topic. I sure miss the old days of blogging if you can say 14 months is old. And I miss some of the old-time bloggers too. Somehow, blogging was more spirited then, more frequent. What happened? Did people simply lose interest? Did they all of a sudden all get busy at the same time? Have new bloggers pushed the old timers out of the picture? Are we all slowly but surely running out of things to say? Or has blogging simply reached its apex? Some definite food for thought and all good questions. Do I have an answer or a theory? NO! Perhaps there is a combination of effects here.

I can say this with certainty, there are people I do miss that were a part of my blogging world 21 months ago when I first started ‘lurking’ the field, eventually working my way into full-on blogging. Gone are Steve from Bent Collective (sorry people to those of you who do not know the story behind that…it was all wrong and a very hurtful thing to do to a person); Hypoxic (gosh I miss that man - a gentle but silly soul); Mark aka The Gay Dude (rest his soul) and his brother Josh aka Smiley (I wish he’d contact me - somewhat hurt by his total disconnect from me). And then there are my cohorts who started their blogs up at about the same time I did…Ynager (he still posts on a very infrequent basis but no more comments…I miss his humor) and CityWOOF (who does blog but has been sporadic too, more so these days due to the major foot surgery that has incapacitated him for the past 8 weeks).

All of them were like family to me. Hmmm, maybe it’s better to say, ‘We WERE a family,” just in another environment, cyberspace. Anyhow…was just thinkin’, rememberin’, and contemplatin’! Ever have those thoughts?

P.S. Catch my commentary in the post below on Kel’s Pride Challenge 2007!

OK…my friend, Kelly Stern is at it again. If you haven’t seen his challenge for this year it’s out. Let’s see how many blogs we can get this awesome pic. If you post it, be sure to let Kelly Stern know so he can link to your blog. He’s also keeping tabs against last years tally…let’s bet it.  If yu are interested in the history behind the picture, read Kel’s Wednesday, May 30th (2007) blog post.

June is just about here and my hectic month of travel will soon begin. I know…I shouldn’t be complaining since it’s all pleasure travel. If you haven’t already figured out where I am going based on the post’s head caption, I will be going to Chicago. The plans are all set for Wednesday, June 13th, through Monday, June 18th.

I am heading out to meet yet another person who I will call Jay. Met him off BigMuscleBear.com. I’ve emailed him several times and spoken to him on the phone a couple of times as well. I find him to be a very genuine person and I think we’ll be good friends. We have some similar interests and happen to both work in the design field. He is involved in industrial/graphic design. Creative minds are not all bad. I picked up a couple of tickets to WICKED for us to see the Sunday I am there. He hasn’t seen it, was relishing the idea, and I thoroughly enjoyed it with Pete last October…so ‘What the heck,’ I thought. I am seeing it again. While I am there I am going to try to see if I can squeeze in some time, possibly lunch dates, with Dr. Sparky of Welcome to My Truth and Doug of Gossamar Tapestry. But I do have to make sure I see Chicago…there is way too much architecture and interior design to see.

So my question to to my readership…have any of you been to Chicago? What should I see and do? If you’re a native Chicagoan, by all means give me your two cents worth!!

Hope you all had a nice three-day weekend and a great Memorial Day. Mine was pretty much a mellow weekend taking in family here in southern California and basking in the sun by the pool. Oh! And of course there was your usual eating holiday-style eating for the day…barbecue chicken, turkey, and sausages, cole slaw, fruit salad, corn-on-the cob, bread/rolls, pie…you know the usual. Thank goodness for my workouts afterwards with the exception of yesterday.

In any event, it’s Tuesday. For some, the start of a short work week, for some, their ‘Monday,’ for some, the last week of May. Guess it depends on how one looks at the day. In any event, it’s my HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? Tuesday.

I think today’s question is rather apropos given we often ravish ourselves with a little extra gastronomic pampering over a holiday weekend. The question is:

How do you like your breakfast for the most part…a) ‘NO FUSS’, just give me a cup of coffee (tea or O.J. for the non-coffee drinkers), b) the simple, healthy ‘POWER’ meal…a glass of O.J. and a power bar/power shake, c) Continental-style…you know, a danish, fruit, cereal or oatmeal, and coffee, or d) damn, just give me the American-style breakfast…eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, pancakes or french toast, the works.

If you ask me, I probably tend to have a hybrid at the moment, between the continental- and American-style breakfasts. But I probably am geared more toward the Continental breakfast. My big meal has always been dinner though from a health standpoint most of us ought to consider making lunch are primary meal.

So how do you respond to this question?

Well, it’s that time of the week…F-R-I-D-A-Y!  And even better is that it is a Friday leading into a three-day holiday weekend.  Woohoo!

This past week has been a rather interesting one for me to say the least.  A bit hectic at times, yet slow at other times.  I spent one day playing “Mr. Mom” or what others were calling, “Mr. Uncle Tony.”  My youngest sister and her husband had to head out of town for an adoption meeting and training session of sorts.  So big brother came to the rescue.  Gosh I so don’t miss getting up at 6am to get ready for school or for that matter, work, at least at the moment.  I must say, thanks to my sister, I had little problem getting them up for school.  In fact she has them well trained.  Here’s how the a.m. went.  Heard my sister and brother-in-law leave at 5:36 pm for the airport.  I thought, ‘good I have 45 more minutes to slumber.’  At 6:17am I heard the kid’s bathroom toilet upstairs flush.  I was downstairs in the guestroom.  I new my sister had set the kids’ alarms for 6:15am.  In any event, I suspected the activity was my 7-year old nephew.  About two minutes later, I heard the toilet flush again.  OK, that must be my 5-year old niece.  At that point, I told myself get up because they kids will be down shortly for breakfast.  Plus I need to be sure they are in fact up.  So I roust myself out of bed, proceed to make the guestroom bed.  As I literally finished placing the last decorator pillow on the bed, mind you this wasn’t more than 10 minutes after I heard the last toilet flush, the niece and nephew were opening the door to my room and telling me they were dressed and ready for breakfast.  They were in fact ready.  My niece had even brushed her hair an placed the ‘dilly bob’ in her hair.

Out we went to the kitchen where I pulled the breakfast together with what my sister had placed out the night before.  I sat them down, put the breakfast in front of them, and proceed to go upstairs to make their beds.  As I was walking up the stairs, I heard my nieces say, “Uncle Tony, where are you going?”  I said, “To make your beds and straighten up.” “Uncle Tony?” “Yes N (the nephew).”  “We already made our beds.”  “OK!”  Well I had to check.  Oh my GOSH!!!  The rooms were immaculate and the beds made completely.

CAN SOMEONE PACKAGE THESE KIDS AND PUT THEM ON THE MARKET FOR PARENTS!!!!

My word, “S-W-E-E-T!”  In any event, I had pick-up detail for the niece at noon and then had to go back at 3pm to pick up the nephew.  From there, I had to shoot straight over to the facility where my niece takes Jazz lessons.  What a riot watching 4, 5, and 6-year old girls trying to stay focused on dancing.  I about pee’d in my pants.  They were rehearsing to the Jackson Five’s ABC .  There were the enthused.  There were the daydreamers.  And those two rows of girls for the dance moves…what an absolute mess.  But isn’t that what creates the entertainment at these youngins’ recitals anyway?!  LOL.

In other news, the two bathrooms currently under remodel at my sister’s house are really moving along but not without glitches.  Lets just say the contractor has had to get the tiler out to tear out some of the expensive glass tile in order to recenter the plumbing since they did not center the tile design right.  Oh there have been a few other nominal things but just enough to drive my sister batty.  I think she understands now why people pay interior designers to do the work and why they really should get paid decently.

These are just a few tidbits from my week goneby.  As usual I am wondering what’s up for your weekend?   I plan on chillin’, getting some sun if we see it this weekend, swimming possibly ( I wish butt-naked but unfortunately I can’t do that around the youngins.), and washing the car.  After that, it’s a free-for-all. I might get Pirates of the Carribean 3 slipped in there also.

By the way, if any of my readers read Derek over at Still Thinking, his computer has crashed and you may not see him posting for a spell.  He and the partner need to whip up the funds to get a new one.  Told him I was bummed.  He also got his MRI results from the doctor and nothing appears herniated.   However, Derek does have a number of torn and buldging discs at four to five levels of the mid to low back.  Guess it will involve nerve blocs and shots.  Yikes!!  And then there is my Spidie.  He’s had a rough week of treatment.  Lots of sleeping, you guys.  Those red blood cells are definitely low.  And on top of it he gets a double-dose of radiation today to finish out his radiation treatments.  He’ll now have 6 to 8 weeks of no treatment so his body can replenish both its white and red cell count. Then the colon cancer surgery will be scheduled (about middish July).  Please keep both Derek and Spider in your thoughts.

Guess that’s it.  Let me know what your holiday weekend plans are.  And be SAFE!

So yesterday I chose to write a more serious and meaningful article. But at the expense of my usual ‘HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?’ Tuesday post. Therefore, I am tossing it your way today.

I seem to be battling a bit of a sweet-tooth these days. And God only knows, the doctor just got done telling me I need to cut back on sugars/carbohydrates. My glucose testing was high from my physical. But what is life without a little ‘cheating’ once in a while - aye!?

With that thought in mind, I ask you:

How do your like your pudding - exceptionally creamy, with a certain firmness, or with the ’skin’ covering the real treat (remember the ol’ Jello puddings that formed a heavy solid film on top once chilled)? And oh, should that be served up as vanilla, chocolate, or tapioca?

First and foremost, give me skin any day…something about the texture that I enjoy. But is I have my flavor choice, it’s a tie between vanilla and tapioca.

Your turn to share your thoughts! By the way, you’ll have to stop by the joint blog for a little fun there on my The Eighth ‘Little’ Wonder of the World post.

This post is about no one in particular other than me and what I have learned about friendship. It’s not meant to be a self-seeking ‘pity’ post. Rather a post of expression, a post to remind all of us what real friendship represents.

Some of us go through life having been blessed with many friends, having been part of the ‘in’ crowd as we were growing up, having been able to feel socially comfortable interacting adult to adult. And there are those of us who have had to isolate ourselves from friendships for fear of ridicule - physical, emotional, and spiritual ridicule.

I was someone who often ran. There was a part of me that so wanted to step into a group and just once be faced with unconditional acceptance, to have a friend without having to prove myself. But it never happened that easily for me. Confidence was at a premium or maybe I should say a ‘lacking’ premium. Chalk it up to the constant emotional badgering I took. Fortunately I grew comfortable with myself. While the lack of confidence usually finds its way back into my life on occasion, it’s far, few, and in-between. All thanks to the love of my family and those few kind souls (true friends) that have managed to come along at the most crucial breaking points in my life. Perhaps its hokie, but Someone above has always looked after me.

There was that kind soul in 4th grade that somehow fit in with the cool, athletic crowd yet found it in his heart to be my guardian angel during that tormentful year. The kind soul in my high school freshman year who was very much the intellectual but somehow found a bond with many of the cool guys, the jocks, etc. and managed to bring me into the mix. The kind soul in my high school senior year, Mr. Popular, who welcomed the thought of being my college room mate. We had a glorious four years and our families bonded as well. Of course that isn’t too hard when you get a room full of Italians together. The kind soul, a co-worker, who managed to keep my mental state in tact when I was so fed up with elements and people at my last job. She is someone I desparately need to contact and re-establish our friendship. She offered me so much support when I struggled with the decision to retain my former cushy job or chase my dream. There was the kind soul, a hunky beefcake, that opened his door to a man struggling to enter a whole new gay environment. No judgements were ever rendered as to where I felt I needed to be in my discovery process and to this date, he offers nothing but support and encouragement to be unique in my own way.

And then there is today. I have been blessed with a group of people that keep me believing in the person I am. Even ONE moreso than others. Mwah! These friends exist in person and some still remain as a source through the Internet. I hope I have the pleasure of changing that for a few of you down the line. To one individual who sent me an email last night which meant the world to me, thank you. You represent the few individuals out in the Internet world that I know see who I am. Hugs bud!

So having perhaps detoured a bit here, to the point of friendship. I’ve realized that friends accept you for who you are, flaws and all. Friends have the capability of ‘taking a breath’ when hit with negative and or hurtful elements, assessing the elements and what’s more important (hopefully the friendship at hand), and moving on. Friends recognize when things have gone too far and put pride aside for the sake of a friendship. Yes, occasionally friends have to be able to forgive and or say, “I am sorry.” Oddly enough, that ’sorry’ is not always for what may seem obvious on the surface.

Friendship truly is an evolving process and a process that never ceases. Wouldn’t you agree?

Well…another week has gone by.  Yesterday at my commercial design job, the team had me work on developing the design concept for a client’s upscale ladies swimwear corporate office.  It happens to be located in our corporate business park.  So I was running around measuring spaces, loading the information into CAD to get a floor plan (lordy, you know how much I love CAD…remember, there is intended sarcasm there), refining color selections, and ordering materials, all for a possible client meeting next Thursday.  I was running a tad nervous but experiencing a high at the same time.  I also got a call from my sister’s contractor, regarding the two bathrooms currently under remodel (remember shes is doing 3 total).  He had a question on tile layout in the upstairs bathroom.  I relayed my intentions on the design, but I hung up with this sinking feeling that some components of it were not going to be performed properly.

After work last night, I drove by my sister’s house to check on the work.  Low and behold, the work was not performed as I had envisioned and tried to explain it over the phone.  I think the sis may be stuck as this particular bathroom was contracted a bit on the ‘looser’ side, as in no specified plans showing the contractor and tiler how to to lay things out precisely.  Partly the sis’ fault for not waiting for me to get back from my travels before hiring the contractor.  Don’t get me wrong, the contractor is a very pleasant and honest gentleman…he just needs a bit more guidance at times. So now I am probably left with the decision to pass on photoing the final results for my portfolio given the imperfections (trust me, a good designer wouuld see them).  *Sigh*

In any event, it looks like I will be doing a bit of CAD design work on my sister’s masterbath this weekend so we can draw up a preliminary contract.  I’ll also be taking in my 7 year-old nephew’s basesball game.  After that, I am not sure…probably a few phone calls to friends, like Pete and Derek, along with my daily chat with Spidie!  I’ll also probably be making a call to a nice guy in Chicago who has exchanged a couple of emails with me.  Our paths crossed through BigMuscleBear.com.  Seems we have work in common…he’s in a portion of the design field.  It’s great to be able to converse with someone knowledgeable in the field.

So that is how my weekend is shaping up.  What’s up for your weekend?  And you know, if it isn’t shaping up to be your ideal weekend, what would you like to be doing?

This past Wednesday I happen to stop by Lewis’ blog to do some catch-up reading. I stumbled across his Tuesday, June 15th post entitled Maturity. It was exceptionally well-written and summed up many of my thoughts on this topic.

But I do have a few of my own thoughts that I would like to share on the subject of maturity. I start with a segment from Lewis’ writing…I guess because it is the first thought about maturity that always crosses my mind.

Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say “I was wrong.” And, when right, the mature person is able to forgo the satisfaction of saying “I told you so.

What I would like to add to Lewis’ thought process here is that maturity is the ability to accept constructive criticism from family, friends, strangers, management, peer workers, and subordinates. It’s our capability to take the positive AND the negative information about us, about our actions, and look for that means to excel in the next similar situation.

Maturity is about continuous self-evaluation, something beyond acceptance of constructive criticism but which involves it in part. I think we need to periodically stop and say to ourselves, “Where am I today? Who am I this very day? Have the decisions I made today been the most demonstrative of MY ability to be a mature person. Have I taken to heart the feelings of people around me, regardless of how well I know them.” I believe we too often lack in this area. I’ll be the first to say I was. But there is the key…was. About five years ago, my whole perspective in life changed. I think it took my father’s death to really jar me into reality, to become the mature adult that I needed to be. And admittedly there were a few other ‘pushes’ that coincided with that event.

I found yet one other thought in Lewis’ blog post rather thought-provoking, one that perhaps I share I slightly different perspective of.

Maturity is the ability to evaluate a situation, make a decision and stick with it. The immature spend their lives exploring possibilities, changing their minds and, in the end, they do nothing.

I feel strongly about the first portion of this statement. Where I waiver in my agreement or at minimum see another perspective, is in the second half of the quote. See…there is no doubt in my mind that a mature person can easily spend their lives exploring possibilities, yes, even change their minds and still accomplish goals. I think what needs to be stated is that often with a certain degree of maturity comes the likelihood of fear NOT consuming every aspect of our lives. Our ability to control our fear allows for a reduced likelihood of changes in decisions.

I think many of us could go on with some discussion variation on the subject of maturity. I think I’ll stop at this juncture for fear of rambling. If you haven’t already seen Lewis’ June 15th post on Maturity, do make it a ‘read.’ I can’t give it enough kudos.

With that said, any thoughts, comments, etc. from the gang?

I’d like to start today off by passing along my biggest birthday wishes to my dear Aussie mate, Horsey. He turns 34 today, June 16th (see… don’t forget that Australia is about 15 hours ahead of west coast time, 18 east coast time). Horsey is a person important in my life for a number of shared reasons. He doesn’t always blog regularly but he has so much heart and sensitivity. And he is far maturer than his years. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATE. Heart you…big hugs. If you have a chance stop by his last post and wish him happy birthday. And while you are there, READ!

So…are we ready for another HOW DO YOU LIKE IT Tuesday? Let’s hop into it.
The question for today is:

How do you like to spend time with your friends when they are visiting? - Simply spending quiet time at your house, having drinks and good conversation; (or) hitting the bar scene and living it up; (or) taking them out to dinner and perhaps taking in a theater show or movie; (or) showing them the sights of your fair city and those special places/spaces you enjoy within and aroudn the city limits.

I generally like one of two options. The first is spending quiet time with the friends, sharing drinks, a good wine along with conversation, catching up on news. The other option is to move to the opposite spectrum and be active with my friends, showing off my fair city, its surroundings, and hitting up some of the local, less-traveled locations that provide the charm for the neighborhood I am live around.

Guess I am ready to hear how you entertain your friends….

Before signing off on this post, take one other side trip over to the co-authored blog to read my latest article there, entitled Meaningful Simplicity (5/15/07).