life’s colorful brushstrokes

Well people…I am ALIVE!! I know some of you were beginning to wonder if I had left blogging all together. No. I merely have been traveling for the past two weeks between Chicago,Illinois, and the state of Florida. Pleasure of course. I chose to not take a laptop with me and I had limited access in the locations I stayed for various reasons.

So where do I begin with all the travel memories I have? I think it’s best to simply discuss the two vacation locations over several posts. Today I am going to start with my visit to Chicago (6/13-6/18). I went for two reasons…1) to see the city of Chicago which I had never seen, a designer’s paradise from and architectural and creative standpoint; and foremost, 2) to meet a new friend, “J.” Let’s just say they both lived up to expectations, so much so, I plan on going back sometime in the not-to-distant future. I think I hit nearly every ethnic food that Chicago has to offer…Cuban, Mexican, Brazilian, Italian, Greek, Swedish amidst a few. I toured most of the City Thursday and Friday while “J” worked. On those days I took the architectural/city cruise, hopped to the top of the John Hancock building, went to visit Doug of Gossamer Tapestry at the Museum of Natural Science, strolled Millenium Park, perused the Art Institute, gawked at all the incredible design materials at the Merchandise (Designer) Mart of Chicago, and so much more. Then Friday evening, Saturday day, and Sunday evening, “J” showed me many of the charming district neighborhoods of Chicago, along with a few off-beat sights. In between, he and I chilled, merely taking time to get to know each other as friends. “J” is quite the guy!! Sunday afternoon, I took “J” to see WICKED as a means of thanking him for his hospitality. His two best friends accompanied us…appears everyone enjoyed the musical. Monday I finished my visit to the Windy City by strolling Michigan Avenue and taking in the shops.

Thought I would finish this post off by sharing a few of the photographic highlights of my trip to Chicago. If you have never been to this city, it’s a must. ENJOY!!!

“J” and Me!

What I don’t miss about Chicago…the hot, humid weather!

What I miss about Chicago…I couldn’t get enough of it, much like New York City last year.

YES, I am Chicago-bound as of this posting. Going to meet “J,” a nice guy originally from Ohio.  I’m looking forward to getting to know him.  And he ain’t bad on the eyes either.  LOL.

I’ll be back late Monday night (6/1 only to work for one day, turn around and hope on a Wednesday flight to Orlando.  So hang in there if you don’t see much of me for a week or so.  Have a great week.  Be safe.

This past weekend while up in Los Angeles for Pride, my friend, Tom, and I stopped by the GROVE, a farmer’s market and outdoor mall. While meandering through the outdoor farmer’s market we came across this little shop that specializes in HOT SAUCES solely. My gosh! I had no idea that there were so many small enterprises out there attempting to cut there own niche in this specialized market.

Tom and I must have paraded through the store for a good half hour simply reading all the labels. Every now and then you’d here a sudden outburst from me. Some of the brand names were simply hilarious. I wish I had a note pad at the time to write all of them down.

We had:

ASS BLASTER HOT SAUCE

WHOOP ASS…

KICK BUTT…

SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION…

ASS KICKIN…

CANDY ASS…

KICK YO ASS…

HOT SAUCE FROM HELL

AND MANY, MANY MORE.

My favorite though was ANALize THIS XXX Garlic Hot Sauce. I think what made some of these sauces was the imaginative packaging and some of the sub-lines on the sauces’ packaging…even the caricatures.

So today for Tuesday’s HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? I thought I would ask the following of my readers:

How do you like your hot sauce - a) pleasantly seasoned (whimp!!!); b) mild; c) hot; d) OOOO Baby…Light me on fire; e) Knock-me-on-my-ass hot; or f) F*ckin’-off-the-charts hot!!

Little ol’ me. I do like things hot and spicy but I think I am at about “OOOO Baby…Light me on fire.” I do want to keep my lips and I relish my sphincter for more important things, if you know what I mean. *wink*

So how do you like your hot sauce? And if you know of any other killer hot sauce brand names, do spill the beans.

Well I actually had a good weekend for a change…a fully-occupied one to boot! Saturday afternoon I headed up to L.A. Veterans Administration grounds to cheer in the SF-LA AID Life Cycle participants and volunteers. I had reason to do so. This STUD rode in his second Life Cycle event. What an accomplishment! And this SWEETHEART helped the weary participants by volunteering his services as a traveling masseuse. I am utterly amazed at all the riders and roadies involved in the event this year. According to Tom, this years group was informed that there were 2333 bike riders, 464 ‘roadies’ aka staff volunteers (if I got that number right), and that over 11 million dollars was generated from this ride. Yes that’s correct, 11 MILLION!!!! Simply said…awesome.

From my perspective, I was overwhelmed at the turnout to welcome the riders. I think the highlight for me was watching the video recap of the seven-day ride on the jumbo screen. You could really see the spirit and camaraderie that builds over the course of this journey. I really would love to participate myself as a rider one of these years, but my current status of employment makes that a bit tenuous. And admittedly, it is a huge commitment to train properly so that you don’t “kill” yourself on the bike ride. I want to be able to finish the ride if I do take the challenge. We shall see. Matt, will you be my personal trainer?!

After the event and a few long-awaited, deserved showers, Tom and I met up with Matt, his partner, and his partner’s son (a previous participant in the Life Cycle last year). We had some great trip-recap conversation over dinner and some nice New York-style Italian pastry to cap off the evening.

Yesterday (Sunday), Tom and I were up and about touring Downtown L.A., Beverly Hills, Hollywood, etc. But first, the Java Charge at Starbuck’s!! We happen to stop at the Grove in Los Angeles. It used to be an old Farmer’s Market gathering place. It still is but at the same time they have built up this huge outdoor mall, complete with closed off streets for pedestrian use only. I loved it. In fact, I need to get back up there some time soon. Tom and I got a bit too absorbed in the early morning galavanting and missed the actual Pride parade. But not the festivities. Oh, and the ‘FESTIVITIES’ were hot in many respects. I just wish there had been a bit more of a BEAR crowd there. A lot of the L.A. muscled look - sculpted hairless and or young slender bodies. Mind you…not that I am complaining. But I like a mix. The event grounds had four different staging areas…one blaring electric disco music, the other rap/hip-hop, and another with live music/guest speakers.

Tom and I dug deeper though and stumbled across a ‘gem in the ruff!’ (that’s ruff,ruff). What was the gem? Well, we walked into an auditorium-style building and found a floor of down-on-the-ground, honky-tonky, hat-baring, jean-hugging, shirtless cowboys (most were in the back rows in relationship to us) and want-to-be cowboys.

Heart be still on a few of them. I just wish I had thought to get more pictures. I just did way too much ‘gawking.’ And a lot of gawking at this one particular GUY!!

MMM! MMM! GOOD! Nice legs, a delectable sweaty body, and the cutest tight tush when he did those shakin’ and struttin’ moves on the line.

So there you have it. My weekend. Los Angeles Pride became my substitute for San Francisco Pride weekend. I’m going to miss not seeing many of my blogger friends and every-day friends gathering at SF Pride. But I have a dear friend, Spider, who deserves much more of my time at the moment for a myriad of reasons. “So all is right,” as he often states to me. Now just two more days and I am off to see my newbie friend, ‘J,’ in Chicago along with possibly two bloggers. Can’t wait!

“I have been slow at initiating my new-found profession.” Who ever wants to admit that openly. However, admittedly, some of it is a self-imposed vacation, and some of it is nerves. “Am I good enough?” is a catch-all phrase running through my head constantly these days. My work (the commercial design job/junior designer) has been a great opportunity. I have a boss and an associate designer who have been great about allowing me to try to spread my wings and “fly.” But there still is a slowness behind the speed with which I am working…it’s that damn element of fear, fear of failing, fear of making a mistake and not being able to recover the project. I just have to keep telling myself, “It’s all new to you…just be patient. Give it time.” (Guess that has been part of my problem most of my life. Pushing myself to excel immediately and produce quality work. I have to tell myself now that it just isn’t going to happen that way all the time.)

In any event, I think I am finding a moment of confidence. My sister’s guest/hall bathroom, the one I completely designed…well, I am finally seeing the fruits of my vision. I suspect that by Monday or Tuesday of next week the construction crew should have completed the major installation of the room and all I will have left is to pull the accessorizing together. I have spotted most of what I want and simply need to secure the funds from the ’sis’ to make the purchases. I am all tingly inside…it’s the only way to explain it. You might say I have been blessed to have my sister’s place to experiment with my talents. Even the downstairs bathroom, where my input came in on the later side of the project, is looking darn good. When I have an opportunity, you will get to see the results.

And oh, the sis’ master bathroom that I was working on and then was asked to put on HOLD…well it may be a ‘go’ again for sometime in August. That means I need to get my big arse in gear again and get the plans finished amidst all the pleasure traveling I will be doing the next two plus weeks. I’m just hoping and praying that the good Lord is setting me on a path of success in this design business. I don’t want to necessarily be a millionaire at it (but I wouldn’t pass it up either). I just want to make a decent living so as to enjoy both my personal life and my professional career.

So I say:

Please tingly feeling don’t ever go away. And confidence don’t allude me.

Did I get you attention with that ‘catch’ title? Good. I was in such a ’silly, playful’ mood all day yesterday. Hmmm! Wonder why? Well, as of this morning, I am not so sure that I have it all out of my system yet. Thought I’d through this ‘bone’ your way and see what I could get back from you entertainment-wise.

Here’s the set up. With what question I am going to throw your way, you need to come back with the first person that crosses your mind, male or female. That means no heavy thought as to the person. Nadda! Zippo! Then you must tell us why you chose what you chose.

The scenario and the questions:

You are give a split-second wish to be whoever you would like to be for a week. Who would that be? And why did you chose to assume this person’s body, mind, and persona?

As I was thinking about what to write tonight and this post crossed my mind, the questions languishing in my head, I thought of one person instantly. Yes…this is the honest to goodness truth. I think it may have had to do with the silly, playful mood I referred at the start of this blogpost. The person…none other than HIM, Jack Radcliffe. I just want to be in that body being checked out, eyeballed, groped…OK I’ll stop. But I can’t. I have to slip this in, I just want to be holding that beautiful uncut ‘thang in my hand, knowing it’s all mine to manhandle any time I want. *eg* Just think of all that delicious ‘cotton candy’ splashed all over his body. A pure sugar ‘rush.’ Dang New Yorker…you started it all! Corrupting poor innocent bears. LOL!!

So, who would you be and why? REMEMBER…don’t think about it…go with the first person. It will make for more interesting reading if you have to explain why you chose “MaryJane,” if you know what I mean.

Yesterday was a rather BLAH! day and I am not sure if there was one reason in particular driving the mood of the day. Just two “rays of sunshine in my day”…my Spider and this rather Woodsy Bear…oh and maybe this man from down under. Funny how one minute you can wish for time to just zip by and in another, beg for it to slow down as there just doesn’t seem to be enough time in a day. Have all these thoughts battling each other in my head. Those adventurous ones saying, “Take it easy, travel, see some of the world (or in my case at the moment, see some of the U.S.). And then those practical, realist thoughts prodding me with, “You need to get back to work now…funds are getting low, need a place of your own to live in…” Oh Poohey! Today’s another day. Tomorrow is as well.

Let’s get on with Tuesday’s HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? The question I have in mind for all you studs today is:

When receiving your special delivery goods from the UPS or FedEx man, who do you like to see him dressed — in a pair of long work pants or in his uniform shorts? Or is there some other dress attire I might be missing here?

For me….I want to see my UPS man in those cute tight brown shorts…Ones that highlight a nice posterior and ones that show off hopefully a nice set of hairy muscled legs from top to bottom. Oh and gotta have those boots and socks to finish off the sexy ensemble.

So, whadda’ya say?

Have you ever experienced an emotional ‘connect’ in a situation you never thought possible? One not necessarily generated from routine physical contact. A deep thought to ponder, wouldn’t you say? Well, this is a topic I have wanted to write about for some time.

Every now and then someone crosses my path of life and manages to send me an instant signal. I can’t quite explain it nor necessarily put a finger on the “how do you know” mechanism. I just know that I’m on the verge of another emotional connection. I’ve had them throughout my life but the connections probably have been more prominent these past three to four years. I tend to think that it has been due to being more in-tune with who I am, knowing what’s most important in my life, perhaps being a tad more focused, and recognizing people sharing similar life experiences but perhaps from a different vantage point.

What characteristics establish my emotional ‘connects?’ From my perspective, they vary but are more commonly generated when another individual shares similar values, occasionally beliefs, portrays similar emotional traits as in compassion and care, and who emits genuineness. For me, I have a strong bond with family and a love for children. Commitment is key and can apply in so many situations, I won’t begin to name them. I recognize that perfection can’t be ever achieved, not in this world anyway, so I ‘connect’ with real people…people who can cry, laugh at themselves, open up in their own way…can we say E-M-O-T-E! I could go on. In a strange way someone might say these sound like elements a person would seek in a perfect partner. Yes perhaps. But again, I am removing the physical component even though that could be part of the equation in some situations.

Let me share a personal example with you. I hope this handsome devil will not hang me for utilizing him as my ‘guiney pig.’ He is someone that I felt an emotional ‘connect’ pretty much from the moment I started to read his blog. We’ve corresponded intermittently between blog comments, chatted once on the phone, and are working on chatting more in the future. That person is BIGG. He is a man who I think sometimes doesn’t give himself enough credit. I see a man who is capable of being strong but tender; a man of selflessness, if only he’d be allowed to give of himself; a devoted father; a man who is far from vengeful though on occasion might want us to believe otherwise (that the streak is there in some form). He is a man who, in one moment, is this rugged woodsman but in another is this giant furry teddy bear. Yes Bigg, I said giant furry teddy bear! He works countless long hours to provide the best ‘home’ he can for his family. That home may not necessarily be a material presence at all times. Rather an emotional haven, something that is critical for a child’s state of well-being.

I guess where I make the emotional connect with Bigg is his desire to do the right thing…to be a loving father first and foremost, to be a friend to his “D” even though the marriage may be over (and Bigg, I won’t accept a denial here…I know you would retain that kind of relationship if “D” would only get her bearings about her). Can you see the elements of family importance, of commitment, of a being who exudes ‘realness?’ I do. I felt it the moment I laid eyes on his blog and I don’t believe it necessary to play a hundred questions to feel any more confident of that opinion. I have had other strong connections that have evolved out of my blogging experience. But I’ll refrain from revealing names…I suspect those that fall in this category know. And that is not to say anything less of those outside the realm because all my cyber-friends have demonstrated some quality or qualities that I relish!

So now that I have thoroughly embarrassed Mr. Bigg, what are you thoughts on the topic?

(Note: The opinions expressed comprise my connections in both my world of everyday person-to-person contact and those in cyberspace.)

Thank goodness the week is over! Normally I get all excited to go to work on Thursdays…you know my commercial design job. But yesterday I was so out of it. The alarm went off…I kept thinking, “I don’t want to work today. Do I have to go in?” The feeling continued right over to work. I literally felt like I was having an outer body experience. For the life of me, I am not sure exactly why but I have my suspicions.

In any event, I have a favor to ask of you again. Please keep Spider in your thoughts. He’s tired…physically and mentally. And I know there is some boredom thrown in there too. The company that has a potential consulting gig for him is moving slowly with a response on hiring him for sure. If you get a chance you can email him at our email address for our co-authored blog, I’m Here, He’s There.

I want to also pass along my well-wishes to Matt over at Jack Hampster and Tom at The Untraveled Travel Guy as they each begin their respective journey as part of the SF - LA AIDS Lifecycle Ride this coming weekend. Matt is riding in the race and Tom is offering his massage services to sooth those riders with tired muscles at the end of the day.

Guess, it’s time to cut to the chase and get started with my question:

What are you all up to for the weekend?

Me…I have one graduation party, possibly two, and an actual graduation ceremony to attend.   I also need to slip in a haircut and to wash my car, something I didn’t get to last weekend.  I think that Sunday will truly be a ‘day of rest,’ one lounging by the pool and basking in the sun, assuming its around to enjoy.  So what do you have to share?