Have I managed to capture your attention with the title of the post. Well, fair warning and not to disappoint you…it’s not what you expect. This past month has been a rather trying time for me. I have had to take a bit of my own ‘medicine’ (a.k.a. – advice, perhaps preaching to some) that I often share with my family and friends. And I have to admit, the ‘medicine’ leaves a rather potent, lingering taste. What am I talking about?

Well, does this sound familiar?

LIFE CHANGES AND EVOLVES AND WITH IT, SO DO RELATIONSHIPS, INCLUDING FRIENDSHIPS. It’s a given.

Can somebody give me a heavy dose of anesthesia and put me out, please. There were so many times over the past two years, as I was learning to accept the person that I am, that I was rolling along establishing friendships – gay friendships that is – through blogging and in-person meetings. For two years I have seen the friendships blossom into more than what I had ever expected.  Some of these individuals are like family to me. We’ve shared very personal stories and feelings. Naturally, with a relationship stepping to those levels, comes exchanging of advice. While I may not have an abundance of personal experience in certain types of relationships, I have enough opinion and reasonably tested advice to share on many topics, given my placement and the dynamics within my large family. Let me make this clear though…I realize this doesn’t make me an expert.

And that last statement is more than evident now. Like I said at the beginning of this post, for the past month, I have been challenged. I have fought with myself to accept the fact that some of my friendships are changing. I have friends that weren’t partnered or in a relationship back then who are nowin relationships. I have friends who were in relationships, four and nine years respectively, that are now in the midst of separations, each dealing with the challenges of finding new places to live along with other matters to handle. I have friends whose financial status has changed, limiting them on what they can do. And lastly, I have friends who are dealing with major health battles. These components all change how we interact on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis.  Add the changes in my own life, primarily finishing school and returning back to an active life in the ‘full-time’ work environment.  Guess you can see the picture I am creating.

I used to talk with so many of my friends once or twice a week, and a few select on a nearly daily basis. But that has changed in light of the issues I mentioned above. For the first time in two years I feel a void again.  I wish I could take back time and relive those special moments with family and friends.  But we all know that isn’t possible. It’s hard when I am now only talking with one or two friends perhaps once a week.  At least the cellphone bill is under control. LOL.

It is hard to admit that it is no longer about me but about them.  People need space to collect their thoughts and rejuvenate.  They find the love of their life.  They grow apart, move on, and need time to think about what direction there life is going next.  People can’t envision growing closer to someone because they aren’t within their local environment.   And more so, they fear by getting to close they only risk their heart being broken because of the chance love may not grow.  It all hurts.

So… I am in the position of having to accept my own advice that I usually share with my friends…’expect that life changes and evolves and with it, so do our relationships.’  Sigh!  I’ll get through this.  I just wish at times that my friends were closer.  Can’t help the fact that I am a social person.

You all have a great week. Be safe. And if you are lucky to get a ’shining’ moment in your day, run with it.