life’s colorful brushstrokes

I’m alive! Just have been busy at work this week after coming of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. I walked into the office on Monday only to be advised that we had been surprised with a project deadline that ran yesterday, Wednesday. Technically it was suppose to have expired at the end of the business day this past Monday. Sheeze…we aren’t God. Guess when the notification of this deadline was made known to design firm - via email late Tuesday evening before Thanksgiving. And half the office had departed with a return date slated for this past Monday. Sometimes I wonder what clients are thinking.

Anyway. I thought we try something new today. I’m calling it Thursday’s ‘This or That.” Tell me how you perceive yourself based on the word listings. Be yourself, be honest. There is no right or wrong in any potential response. Select one of two on each line that most closely describes you presently.

Realist or Dreamer

Romantic or ‘Safe’

Muscled or Bearish

Intellectual or Artistic

Introverted or Extroverted

Sports-oriented or hobbies-oriented

Traveler or Homebody

Spicy or Sweet

Think there is enough for you to ponder. Give it a whirl. I think this should make for some interesting and fun reading at my end.

Well…I got through Thanksgiving.  I’ve survived another day of over-indulgence in food.  I think they call that GLUTTONY!  While the smells and the tastes were intoxicating, I think age is finally catching up with me.  I simply can’t eat the amount I used to and in reality, I think my stomach is shrinking.  I really don’t enjoy eating all that much anymore.  Heck…I even crave bland foods more these days.

In any event, I had a blast over the Thanksgiving holiday break.  It was spent amidst good company, visiting, doing a little shopping, getting in movies (Beowulf, Mist, etc.).  I was  extremely sad that it all came to an end.  So I am back home, as of last night (Sunday) at 11:30pm, and it’s off to another rip-roaring work week.  Guess we have 4 more weeks until Christmas and I suspect I will have just about that time left as to work.  I’ll probably know by then if my commercial design firm is holding onto me beyond the new year.  And that’s likely when I need to consider strongly if I make a move to work in residential with my two friends or if I consider other options, such as a move to Chicago.

Anyhoooo!  You all have a great week!  Hug.

Last week at work was a total drain on me. Deadlines, some dumb mistakes that ate away at money and valuable time (the boss’s issue…not mine, though I felt I tad bit idiotic too). I was plain wiped out and needed something that was a total distraction. And dare I say, ALL ABOUT MOI!

What did I do? Saturday I went shopping. What more can be both a distraction and ultimately about “YOU?!” LOL. I headed on up to “SC” Mall, the largest in the Los Angeles/Orange County area and probably in California that I know of. As I was telling Spider this weekend during our phone conversation, the mall serves the most diverse crowd, socially and economically, ranging from bargain stores equivalent to Target up to high-end stores such as Tiffany’s, Christian Dior, Gucci, etc., covering items from clothing, to home accessories, to art, to electronics, to furniture. It’s a shopper’s dream. And needless to say, the mall was PACKED to the hilt. We haven’t even stepped into the official holiday shopping season yet.

In any event, what did I go shopping for? STUFF!!! LOL. I popped into the Apple Store to pick up the new Mac OSX Leopard software operating system for my MacPro. Then I came oh so close to purchasing an iPod Touch. I backed down though because part of me was disappointed that the maximum storage on the unit was only 16G, a far cry from the 160G on the iPod Classic. So I am still contemplating the purchase though I may opt to wait a year in hope that next year Apple introduces a larger storage capacity on the iPod Touch. I also managed to get into Banana Republic to purchase an assorted color of solid T-shirts. Gots’ta enhance the chest asset (LMAO - the eyes rolling to the back of my head. That’s something BrettCajun would say. Just in jest, bud – you know that!).

Ok, ok…I need to get back on track here. Think theme of post, theme of post. My primary reason for heading out shopping this weekend was to look for a pair of lace-up boots that I could wear booth in casual dress but still get away with wearing if I were to dress-up a bit more. I had seen about three variations of boot in the Johnston & Murphy’s catalog that interested me, so that was the first store in the mall that I entered. I found all three but either did not like the color variation and or the style once I saw the actual shoe, live. The saleslady was nice enough to direct me to Cole Hahn and Timberland. Hit Cole Hahn first. Nothing of interest.

I next strolled on over to Timberland, a shoe store that I honestly have never entered or purchased from. Well…did I score. My eyes were going buggy on quite a few options. And then the real fun began. Up comes this absolutely handsome, woofy bear-type shoe salesman. I mean I could have planted a huge kiss on those lips of his instantly. He was about 6’-2”, not overly muscular but definitely defined in the upper torso, thick in body. He had a shaved head, with a jet-black goatee, dark-brown eyes, nice thick, full, eyebrows, and an olive complexion. Mr. Salesman was sportin’ a nice copper-colored camp shirt with a white t-shirt underneath it, designer jeans – the antiqued, worn-finish variety, and a pair of Timberland nubuck lace-up boots. *sigh* Then came the words, “May I help you Sir?” Music to my ears - deep masculine voice, upbeat, actually able to articulate intelligently.  I immediately said, “Yes…I need to try on some boots.” (while my mind was saying “And a few other things.” *evil grin*) Let’s just say I had him run back for four pairs of different style boots. I had to hoard him to myself for a little bit. Right?

Alas, I know Mr. Shoe Saleman was straight. Just not enough eye contact to send off those other signals. But man did he make my day. I heart my shoe salesman. I walked out of that store with a little step behind my walk…and two pairs of boots.

Hey all! Sorry I haven’t been writing much. Work is going into it’s typical chaotic period. Always that way around the holiday season in the commercial design field. Some clients have excess budget monies that they need to spend by years end or loose it. So naturally, any work we pick up needs to be expedited that much quicker.

In any event, the timing is bad ‘cuz the body seems to be going into LOW GEAR! I have had a headache almost every day since the beginning of October. Some extremely dull, some average, and well, some full-on raging migraines! I’ve had a few evenings where I have had to take a hot bath, slide back, and submerge the backside of my head under water. All I know is that half my time at work feels like an outer-body experience. I’ll admit that with that ‘zoning out’ effect, I’ve had some raging fantasies. Of course, those are for me to know and you never to find out about. Oh Spo, Jack was there! LOL. Thankfully, it appears that the migraine is breaking, at least for tonight.

Well, in another three weeks my friends, ‘A’ and ‘K’ (females), will be graduating from the same design program I did. From there, it looks like they are going full out setting up a residential design business and I am leaning toward joining the team. I just hope we have some breaks that allow any business to grow.

We’ve been trying to think of a name that creates an image for us. Anyone care to take a stab at coming up with some creative ideas for business names? This would be for a residential design firm that will predominantly deal with high-end residential remodel and new home design.

Anyhow, you all have a great week. My thoughts go out to Spider! I actually talked to him twice yesterday. I don’t know how in the heck he managed to get through to me twice. He’s lucky if he connects to me once in the span of ten days, let along twice in one day. He is hanging the best he can - predominantly nausea and tiredness. He has been suffering headaches for the past month. Not a good sign with respect to the stage his cancer was diagnosed at … Stage 2+. Later.

…ABOUT YOURSELF?  Have you ever asked yourself that question?  I suspect most people have.  I know that it has crossed my mind on a number of occasions.  It often crosses my mind when things aren’t going my way and I’m in a bit of a ‘funk.’

It’s not a particularly an easy question to answer forthright and sincerely. Heck, I struggle with it.  It is, in essence, an admission of being flawed.  And heaven forbid if we’re not perfect.  So, I suspect you are probably asking, “What is it you would change about yourself Tony?”  This isn’t particularly easy to admit in this type of environment but I am going to go for it.  You’ll probably understand this statement when you see my response momentarily.  While at times I may come across as a very public person and social, I am not.  If I could change one thing about myself, it would be the inherent fear I have always had of not meeting someone’s expectations.  Think about how many  fears seem to narrow down to this one particular fear.  Fear of failure, fear of not being attractive, fear of intelligence or lack of .  You have the picture!?  I’m not saying these apply to me but I have always put pressure on myself.  And it only seems in the past five years that I have recognized this and tried to come to grips with the fear.  I think I have come a long way but, at the same time, it seems that as of late, I am slipping backwards.  I hate that feeling.  What am I doing?  I simply try to slow down for the moment and tell myself that I am doing the best that I personally can do and no one, I mean no one, has the right to say otherwise than moi!

With that all said,  I’m asking YOU,

“What one thing would you change about yourself, if it could be granted?”

And here is the kicker, you need to consider that the change, if not granted, could still be something attainable by an individual.  Make sense?  Let me know.

If you didn’t already know, I admittedly am I reality show ‘junkie.’ Hey…they allow my mind to go brain-dead and enjoy itself for 60 minutes. I’m not hooked on every reality show out there but I do get enjoyment out of watching them, in particular, regulars like American Chopper (I love Paul Sr…woofy daddy bear, and the dark-haired mechanic Vinnie…yum!), Survivor, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Project Runway, and America’s Next Top Model (don’t shot me for including this but I love all the bitch-slapping that goes on in this show).

But the one show that I really love to watch is The Biggest Loser. When the show first started a couple of years ago, I thought it would be a show that would potentially degrade those over-weight in our society. Not the case in my mind. I believe it is a show that empowers the over-weight individual. It gives them an opportunity to take charge of their life. And I find the show inspiring in so many ways. It’s not easy to make a lengthy commitment to dedicate yourself to losing weight, to being away from family and friends for three months, and to maintaining the weight lose efforts once the show’s airing is over.

I suspect, like any show with a cast of characters, whether fictional- or reality-based, people find there favorites. They make a connection with that characters life story and or person. Who has had me hooked? Well…I had five players who caught my attention within the first episode. They were: Jerry, the 62 year-old from Peoria. Illinois; David, the 31 year-old cowboy with four kids from Cedar Hill, Tennessee; the ’silent but deadly’ 40 year-old twins Jim and Bill from Long Island, New York; and lastly, my favorite, the married 28 year-old, ex-Miami University football player, Phil. If he were gay and available, I’d be all over him, like a pig in a mud puddle. Something in the face! But alas, given they all were the biggest threats between strength and loss of weight, only one remains on the show out of the five that were my picks.

I look forward to the end of the show’s season…not so much to see who wins the cash prize and title of Biggest Loser but rather to see each and every contestants weight loss since their first appearance on the show. From past shows, many of the contestants end up looking phenomenal!

So I guess there lies the answer. Yes, a reality TV show can inspire!