So normally this has been a ‘THIS OR THAT’ Thursday post. And normally you have seen me with some more regularity. But somehow these days, the ‘UMPH’ has just not been there. I honestly was going to let this week go by with yet another post-less period. Since the weekend, I have had this feeling within me that my world was about to enter this ‘out-of-sync’ period. I can’t explain why. I just felt it. Would it be personally, professionally, or both?

Have you ever felt this way? Have you seen those feelings become reality? Well it appears to be happening to me to some degree. For the past two to three months, while work has been going fine, I have experienced this void within my personal life. I don’t think some people really understand the connection I make with certain people and why they become such an integral part of my life. Hell, I don’t fully understand sometimes. What I do know, is that its the compassion and genuineness within me that, in part, dictates some of those characteristics. Today I find myself asking, “How much can ones mind, ones body, ones spirit take before ENOUGH IS ENOUGH?” It seems that several people in my life that I care for immensely are struggling with their physical and/or mental health. A few of them have been pushed to limits that I am almost positive I could never endure without some loss of sanity. Their experiences really have given me cause to place my life into perspective. However, emotionally, I am hurting for them. If I were being truthful, I am hurting for myself too.

You may be asking yourself where is all my rather cryptic thought heading here. Remember I mentioned earlier that I felt this week was an ‘out-of’sync’ week for me. This past Tuesday, Spider was back in Orlando for a myriad of tests, to include a full-body CT scan that would determine the status of his colon cancer (post-chemo treatment) and whether it has metastasized to any other part of his body. One of the myriad of tests pertained to scoping his arteries to his heart. See, Spider has been having mild shortness of breath again and feeling exceptionally lethargic. Earlier testing from three weeks ago showed that the lower portion of his heart was not getting sufficient blood. So to the point, Spider went into the hospital Tuesday for the scoping procedure. While undergoing the procedure, he had a moderate stroke. Coincidentally, Spider had informed me during our Monday night phone conversation that he was afraid for the first time since all his health issues began. The stroke left him with some temporary paralysis on his right side but the indication yesterday, Wednesday, was that he had regained function of his faculties, speech and movement, again. At this juncture, I am waiting to hear if the latest news is in fact definitive and if he truly is 100%.

Guys, Spider has so many other issues on the plate that I simply am not choosing to discuss right now.  I find it all overwhelming to see a 48-year old man, only one year older than me, handling so much.  And I know the wear on his body is wearing on his mind, and at times, his spirit.  Please, please keep him in your prayers.  I so want to see him achieve some normalcy back in his life.

Thanks for listening to my ‘blubbering.’

SPIDER, GET WELL…..HUGS!