February 11, 2008
Hi everyone. Yes I am alive. Think I am pulling a Smiley with disappearing off the face of the earth and then reappearing. I hope his ears are burning…yes you heard me, burning. LMAO! Have to rib him somehow. He gets me every now and then. We’ll see if he is even reading my blog anymore. Laughing uncontrollably again.
In any event, I’ve been on an emotional roller-coaster these past three weeks or so. This business venture feels unsettling at times. I don’t have all the answers I need yet to make me feel comfortable. And there is a part of me that needs a certain amount of interaction with people/friends outside of work that just isn’t happening as it did when I was in school and traveling on breaks to see people I blog with. I’m working though to make other connections, most recently through MySpace. I’ve met a number of really nice bearish, masculine men, some out-of-state but fortunately some right in my own backyard. I working on meeting two at the moment, hopefully over the next two weekends.
One of these men on MySpace is the focus of my blog post today. His name is Mark Tedesco. Mark is a year older than me I believe…48/49 years old. He appears to be engaging, articulate, genuine, and definitely bearishly masculine. But what captured my attention about him is that he seems to live with an element of faith in his life as I am struggling to balance in my life as a gay man. See, Mark went through Catholic seminary, became a priest, and left it with a year or so of being ordained.
How do know this much about Mark having only briefly exchanged a few emails? I have read his book entitled, “THE UNDENIABLE LONGING: My Road To And From The Priesthood.” I must say I found that it struck several nerves. He asked himself many of the same questions I have asked and continue to ask myself in my struggle to find peace in my life, balancing my human and spiritual needs as a gay man. If you are a spiritual person and/or open to the varied challenges gay men and women are faced with daily, it’s a remarkable book. For those of you who have been reading my blog, you know that I am very ‘closed’ when it comes to sharing any element about my faith. Perhaps that is because I tire of the attitude that many (mind you, I didn’t say all) gays have toward religion and faith. However, if you want to know ME, then read Mark’s book. I am far from being an avid reader but this book was the first book that I have ever read in a single sitting. Seriously.
I am ecstatic at the thought of meeting Mark within the next few weeks. You can bet your bottom that I will be asking him if he has found the ‘peace’ he’s been seeking or if he still sees his life evolving, both at the human and spiritual levels.
Guess this is a wrap for me. Hopefully I won’t let as much time pass between this and the next post. Should you have an opportunity to read Mark’s book, drop me an email at lifescolorfulbrushstrokes@yahoo.com. I’d love to hear your thoughts. I might just pass them along to Mark.
Have a great week!
February 11, 2008 at 4:32 am
Tony, is that book commonly available at bookstores (e.g., Borders)? It appears that I would find much in common with the author. thanks for the heads up.
February 11, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Hey Tony…glad to hear that you’re still out there and kicking. I was beginning to wonder.
Good luck with your fellas.
February 11, 2008 at 7:56 pm
if you are settling down so, can you send over Jack now?
February 12, 2008 at 1:40 am
My own strict Roman Catholic up bringing has left me conflicted for a very long time. I still dont have if all figured out, but I am getting there.
Thanks for this post Tony.
February 12, 2008 at 7:35 am
Well you know me kiddo. 5 years in junior seminary and 7 years in seminary before ‘jumping over the wall’. When I left the monastery, I left the Church and stayed away for 10 years.
No longer conflicted about Catholicism. It’s archetypal religion - they are all they same and fundamentally flawed. I don’t always agree with ‘Mother Church’, I just won’t spend my time in opposition to it.
February 12, 2008 at 8:42 pm
As you know, I dated a priest and my partner is a recovering Mormon. I was never raised with religion and therefore, have no roots in Christianity. I’m not opposed to Christianity or most Christians but my spiritual leanings are outside western religions.
It would be fascinating to talk to you about this sometime and I will look for the book because I am interested in how gay men reconcile their lives within the guidelines of their religions.
John always said he would forego his ordainment if he could not make peace with his sexuality and his beliefs. He was ordained shortly before his death from AIDS so he must have figured something out…or so I like to think.
Best of luck with the work and the new contact. Hopefully we’ll get the chance to meet this year.
February 13, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Glad to see you posting again, I’ve missed your entries. Sounds exciting.
February 16, 2008 at 5:51 am
My partner might find this book helpful.
He was an orthodox priest for quite a few years before he met me.
When we first met, I used to think that he was going to go back - but it’s now 8 years after the fact, and I’m pretty sure his mind is made up…
I often used to kid him about the altarboys, but he never thought it was funny - he likes older (like the Bishop, who he had a 15 year relationship with)… I am 8 years older than he is.
Religion has always been a stickler with me, although I have no problem with being Spiritual. I’ve always thought that Religion was the ‘Politics’ of Spirituality. (if you catch my drift).
Peace & Good Luck Bro.
February 17, 2008 at 6:43 pm
Nice to see your new post again, Tony.
May 15, 2008 at 3:57 am
Hi Tony!
I’m new here. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get that book but it would be great if we could communicate on “balancing our human and spiritual needs”. I found you through Big Rob and I’m so envious that you’re gonna see him any day now. Cheers!