March 2007

So everyone…I’m still alive and kicking! But man, oh man am I about ready to run out of gas. I’m already thinking ahead as to what I am going to try to squeeze in over the two to three weeks after I get out of shool and before I go into work full-time. I know I am heading up to the San Francisco-Bay Area to see friends and family. But I sure could use a nice vacation outside of California. Who knows…too tired to think about it in great detail. Just enough to help make me daydream a bit to rest the mind.

So with it being Friday, what’s up with your weekend? Any good jokes or funny stories…something to make me laugh yet again. They’re always appreciated. Oh by the way Bigg …we’re going to see how long it takes you to catch this post and respond. HEHEHE!


But is there a blazing light at the end of the tunnel? I dunno?! Of course I have been working on my Project everyday this past week as I have often done over the quarter. The killer was the work period from Sunday into yesterday (Monday). I worked on my CAD portion (and my specifications notebook) from 8:30am Sunday into the early hours of Monday, straight up to 5pm yesterday…one hour before class. Just enough time to pick up my construction plans from the printer and get to class in the middle of Southern California evening commute traffic. I had exactly two hours of sleep from 5:15am until 7:15am. My alarm was set for 6:30am but some how I managed to turn it off and roll right back over asleep again. I thought for sure my sister’s ‘wind-up’ alarm clock would scare me awake but I guess it failed. I am getting so bad these days. But it’s exhaustion, I know it!!

You may be asking, “How did I fare?” Again, I dunno! I managed to make a chunk of the corrections in my plans previously brought to my attention by my instructor. I had a Details section of my documents due with the final package today. I completed about two-thirds of the details needed. I had to somehow spread my time. I will say that when the CAD documents are pulled together as a package, it’s rather impressive. I can at least walk away knowing that I am more comfortable with CAD now though still deficient in areas. Fortunately many of the construction document skills, that this class encompassed, are being taught to me bt my commercial design employer. I had to leave some of those taught elements out of my plans in an effort to achieve a final submitted product.

Where I really disappointed myself was in pulling together my specifications notebook. Guys, I am ‘down’ on what I submitted. I have never ever submitted what I submitted today on that particular item. Gaps of elements missing, no cohesiveness in researching and pulling it together…so much more running through my head. I have to say this is a MOST HUMBLING EXPERIENCE! Somehow, by the grace of God, I hope my instructors understand. I could blame it on what has been apart of my personal life for the past four to five weeks but no one could really understand that unless they were in my shoes…unless they were me. And if we were to equate this whole learning piece to working for an employer, they probably wouldn’t put a whole lot of sympathy out! The most important thing is I tried, I took away some important items to apply in my new career, and I should feel proud of my overall accomplishment with school, whether I pass or fail this class. I will admit, its not easy swallowing these last few sentences that i just spewed! I am my worst critic. Thanks to a few people’s encouraging words, I have pushed forward through the ‘muk of thoughts’ running through my head.

So….seven more days and I am DONE. Gosh I have a three-story 1/8″ model to construct and several boards by next Monday…that with my part-time design job squeezed in there. Sigh!

OK Tony, look for that light blazing at the end of the tunnel. It is there!

(One and all…thanks for bearing through this post.)

Well, it’s Friday and for many of you the beginning of a relaxing break from work – a mental breather. But for me, it’s the start of my weekend from hell or rather my week plus from hell. It’s hear, the final 10 days of school…history for me! And one I hope will end with a simple PASS in the class. I just don’t know. Gosh, I am trying like crazy to come up with some results. If I don’t pass, I at least know I put forth the effort and I merely walk away from it all one class shy of another degree. I can hold my head high knowing I had predominantly A’s during the three years I have been in school (think I just had 3 B’s). And as I have said in prior posts…it’s time for me to be moving on.

So as I am cranking away here, I could sure stand to hear what your up to for the weekend. But as I did last weekend, I could really stand to get some laughter out of this…so if you have a good joke or a funny little story, leave it under my comments. It will give me something to do and chuckle about hopefully when I take those short, quick five-minute ‘stretcher’ breaks. You all have a good, safe weekend. And please, don’t be too naughty. That goes for you Bigg (‘Cuz I know what you like to do on the weekends – Woohoo! – awe heck, make me proud Bigg, lol.)!!!

Just chuggin’ along guys…’til Monday night, later!


Main Entry: 3mate
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, probably from Middle Low German mAt; akin to Old English gemetta guest at one’s table, mete food — more at MEAT
1 a (1) : ASSOCIATE, COMPANION (2) chiefly British : an assistant to a more skilled worker : HELPER (3) chiefly British : FRIEND, BUDDY — often used as a familiar form of address b archaic : MATCH, PEER
2 : a deck officer on a merchant ship ranking below the captain
3 : one of a pair: as a : either member of a couple and especially a married couple b : either member of a breeding pair of animals c : either of two matched objects

Hard to believe we have cycle through to another Wednesday. Happy Hump Day! As always, Wednesdays bring about WORD PLAY. I happen to be chatting on-line last night with another blogger, Horsey, from Horsey’s Home On The Web. I get a kick out of our chats, in part because of his expressions. See, Horsey is from AussieLand or better known as the Land Down Under!

You all know how I get faint at the knees over a good Southern accent. Well, there is another accent that walks hand-in-hand with a Southerner’s and that is the voice of a hunky Aussie man. WOOF! If I could only hear Horsey’s voice. But I have fun imagining it, especially since he told me he has a particularly think Aussie accent. YUM!

So what has Horsey manage to inspire me to use today as my word choice. Well, I have to go with the word…mate.

Usage: Ga’day MATE! … an Aussie phrase that is music to my ears. And by the way, Horsey’s blog is an enjoyable read.  How is it that nearly half my friends live the distance-of-a-continent away from me?!

Again the “play” portion…any comment you leave must use the word mate in it. Your response can be about anything ~ the post, me (watch it!), something about you, something happening in your life. Knock yourself out thinking of something serious, humorous, or off-beat to comment about here. Just have fun with it!

This past week has been a long week. I am glad it’s over in some respects but in the same breath I am not. It means the time period until D-Day, next Monday, has diminished. The stress level is stepping up and the sense of hopelessness of truly finishing my project the way it should be. God only knows I have tried. All my time has been devoted to CAD input just so I could get my weekly assignments submitted in some state of completion. In the meantime, my specifications notebook and gathering up any materials (to pull my design concept together) suffered. I can’t seem to find any balance of time now that works…that allows me to at least finish the basic requirements for the class.

Last night I received a compliment of sorts from one of the instructors, commenting, “Look what you’ve accomplished with your CAD skills.” In one respect it was nice to hear but I had to come back with the remark, “I know, but look at what cost.” I pointed to the example specifications notebook belonging to a student from last quarter. I remarked that I had had no time to work the book the entire quarter. Of course, my instructor came back with, “I have the utmost confidence you complete everything.” And at that moment I had a streak of negativism. I blurted out, “I hope so because one way or the other I am finished.” It was my way of letting her know that after I finished this quarter, I would not be returning, pass or fail. Mentally I am exhausted. When I say that, I mean from a the perspective of the school environment. I need other stimulation outside of school, in the realm of real work and a nearly-forgotten personal life. It’s not easy at 47, having put your life on hold for three years.

I have also reached a state where I need to be working due to finances. Unfortunately I am finding out that my new-found profession may not offer me the income I need to pay for basic items here in California. Trust me, I did research this field before I made my decision to leave my previous well-paying position. But your research is only as good as the resources that provide you with needed decision-making information. Regretfully I think mine embellished things a tad. I may find myself taking on work outside the design field that pays a wage that one can sustain a living on and not be at poverty-level. Or at least splitting time between a better-paying job and design work (part-time).

With all this on my mind, I am finding it hard to unwind these days from all the stress. If I were being truthful…I can’t even find a means anymore that puts me in a state of calm. So I guess I have the perfect question for today’s HOW DO YOU LIKE IT? Tuesday post.

How do you like to unwind or de-stress after a very long day or for that matter, one hell’uva long week?

I’ll take any good creative, sound advice. By the way, I miss not being able to visit all my favorite reads routinely. I haven’t forgotten you. Just prioritizing these days…or at least for these last two weeks of school.


What can I say…he’s on my mind. I need to talk to that ‘special’ man. The big Lug!!!


1766.JPGAny eventful plans for today? I’d love to hear them…anything to take my mind off all this waiting. You’d think the Project would do that for me. Bwah-hahaha! I don’t think sooooooooooo!

P.S. Photo taken by Derek



The day begins…
First thoughts being the sweetest.
Those that set the tone for the day.


And mine are often of you.
That silly smirk.
Those eyes of contentment.


It amazes me too often,
Perhaps overwhelms me.
How one person can make you feel.


Safe and secure.
Loved and cared for.
Sexy and confident.


One wonders why.
Why so long for paths to have crossed?
But nonetheless welcomed.


These feelings simply linger.
Linger throughout the day.
Keeping that smile alive on my face.


It hurts when you aren’t around.
Feeling lost at times.
Derailed and wondering how to ground myself.


How is it ?
One person always giving of oneself.
But never thinking of one’s own well-being


So many thoughts in one day.
All good.
Even if they are a mixed-bag.


The day ends much as it began.
The mind thinking of you.
Til tomorrow comes with even sweeter thoughts.

Author: Tony
C. 3/2007


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